How to learn from rejection

Rejection is a sad fact of life. Even the best gets rejected from time to time, but the reason true masters aren’t afraid to admit this embarrassing fact is because they are fully aware of the importance of their failures. If your success-to-failure ratio isn’t acceptable, it’s likely because you’re focusing too heavily on the depressing fall out, when you should be focusing on bettering your game.

Don’t deny that it happened

Dont take rejection too personally, but on the flip side, you can’t just shrug it off as if nothing happened. Saying, “Eh, her loss” or making up some other excuse that pins the failed encounter on her is a mistake; it’s both egotistical and counterproductive. You have to accept that it could be you, and while you can’t let it overwhelm you, you do have to analyze the situation. You have to look back and reflect on it, which might open your eyes to a few personal mistakes. Many times, we allow our nerves and the headiness of the moment to impact our behavior and only later, when perfect clarity returns, can we sit back and objectively view our performance. You shouldn’t lie about failed attempts either. The secure, stable man can relate such disappointments -- to both male and female -- with a wry grin and a shake of the head.

Look for repeating trends

Just because one woman rejected you for being “too timid” or “too overbearing” doesn’t necessarily mean that’s your one primary flaw. So don’t freak out when you discover a reason for rejection that takes you by surprise and forces you to second-guess your entire approach. As mentioned earlier, everyone has their own personal tastes, and while one woman might not laugh at a single solitary joke, another won’t be able to stop laughing. However, you need to keep an eye out for repeating trends -- if the vast majority of the women clearly aren’t responding to your humor than, no, you’re probably not as funny as you initially believed. But the absolute worst thing you can do is assume that you’re simply not attractive to females, because this only leads to a downward spiral of doubt and depression. For the record, personality does matter -- always.